It’s 2017. There must be a lot of happenings that I have experienced in 2016, the fabulous year. Small or big, high or low. I somehow manage to get it through, and I did it!

I am ready for something even bigger. And here I am, spare my time to recall the moments and let me spill out my resolution, my wish, and my dream(s).

***

2016 is already over, and I have done a great job of being RKMENTEE. The “title” which push me to challenge my own limitation, to know myself better and to broaden my network and of course, my point of view. I’m very grateful for having this kind of experience. I remember, I’ve been wanting this since RKMENTEE program first published in 2015. But, I couldn’t apply because I haven’t graduate yet. So, when the time’s come, I applied it even though I sent my application form on the last day. And one of the best moment I cherished was by being RKMENTEE. It’s literally something that I didn’t expected. I was preparing for my master degree application. But then, the opportunity come. Selected to top 40 candidates was already make me happy. But this is beyond what I’ve imagined. How could I not cherished the moment?

***

I would like to thank some people who’ve been my hero in 2016. They are my boyfriend, ivokun, for always being there whenever I need a shoulder to lean on; my woofie bestfriend, Raafi; my 24/7 emergency call, Fiak and Prasetya; and my lovely “Juragan Ritel”, mas Afy.

They help me through lot of things I have to faced in 2016. From the happiest to the saddest. From the highest to the lowest. They help me winning from my own long-severe/mid-depression that I got (and I had just realized). They are being my “rare item.” People who care to me that much when I almost lost my faith to trust anyone. People who support me until I can come this far.

***

But there are things that I should pay attention to, but ended up ignoring it for the whole year, which are writing book review (which I have to since I signed up as Blogger Buku Indonesia); writing down my own experience in this blog (so people know what I’m doing during my RKMENTEE program and on how I see problems from my perspective); and the last is about the feeling. How I should not easily throw away “that” feeling. And I should remember, having long distance relationship is indeed difficult but that doesn’t mean I can not do it. Trust works both ways (-Jyn Erso, Rogue One: Star Wars Story).

Those all caused me unfocused in many aspects. From committing myself that I am a book blogger. From committing myself that I will be known as RKMENTEE out there. And from committing to my equal partner.

I know I need to put more effort into stick with my resolution which includes the evaluation and the development of my own self. So I can improve my writing skill (I wish I can write as good as Raafi!) and won’t fall into the same love fool.

***

In the last couple of months, I’ve been attracted to new things, such as blogging project! Since my first collaborative post with Raafi on my book blog and halloween collaborative post with Paskal, I think by having blogging project will help me to calm my self. This depression is still linger on my mind. I need some kind of “therapy”, the escape plan so I won’t get worse even though I have constant battle every single day.

I like it because it motivate me to read/watch more and write more! It will improve my writing skill! And, perhaps, will make me more popular :p

As I mention it in the paragraph above, I would like to pursue this new hobby by having blogging projects with some fellas (I will tell you the detail soon!) for a year (yes, in 2017!)

***

If I have to prove one wrong misconception about me, it would be that I’m the ignorant person who won’t care that much to my surroundings.

I can do it by being fully support to anyone who need support and support me as well. But, one thing that they should know is I value privacy more. I can be open if I want to. I can be extrovert if I want to. I do care but in my own way.

I just think it’s time for people to see who I really am. As an introvert. As someone who loves book. As a consumer of popular culture products.

***

In 2017, I’m focusing on writing, and writing, and writing. And improving myself more through RKMENTEE.

I remember, in 2016, I said “if life gives me lemon, I will make lemoaade.” In 2017, I will sell the lemonade like Charlie Brown and the gang do.

Yeah, 2017 is going to be my year.

 

*adapted from Gogirl! Playzine December edition

— January 5, 2017

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