Turning 23 is a big deal, indeed.
I am facing what people said as Quarter Life Crisis, even though I haven’t reached 25 yet, but yes, this is me questioning the purpose of my existence so far.
Anyway, I don’t do celebrate any birthday because for me, it’s like I am counting down to my own life span. It’s better if I use my time, my moment, to reflect what I have done on previous years and what I should do to be better person. To achieve what I’ve dreamed all along.
The Learning Process Which Never Stop
Back to earlier this year, I have faced some kind of depression. The condition which require me to take a rest for a week. Of course, I denied that. I kept telling myself that I was okay. That there’s no something wrong with me, it’s them. Not me.
But, there’s also a moment when I saw myself from different side. Like, I should be grateful because in this early 20s, God has given me chance to learn from one of first class person in Indonesia. God has given me the other way to appreciate 24 hours in a day: how I could use it to be more productive each day. The lesson which I’ve probably missed.
No one said learning is always about ups, sometime it is about learning how to heal, like, when I am recovering from depression. No one said learning is always about ups, sometime it is about forgiving someone else and let it go so I can move on and create something more impressive.
Learning is indeed hurt, but, it will give me strength.
It’s Home. But This Is Far Away
This is my first time having my birthday far away from my family, from my boyfriend. This is the first time I explore more than I can expect. This is the first time of all the first time.
Remembering what I wrote in early this year that I will make Lemonade from Lemon which life has given to me. And here I am. Stand still with many things I can do in this wonderful surrounding. Birthday is supposed to be the time when we can be grateful for what we have, isn’t it?
It find new family here. The people who never get tired to support me, to invest their trust and give me the ears I need. They are the people who believe in the power of dream, in the power of Universe Conspires. I feel like I am expanding my term of what family is: the good vibes which can bring me to be more productive person.
Understanding Myself More
23 is the time for me to understand myself more than what I can in 22. Thanks God, I finally knew how to deal with my past so it won’t bother my present, my future. But still, there’s some emotions I should manage better for the sake of professionalism. I know, life is indeed about ups and downs, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t enjoy the downs part, don’t I?
Living as Road Manager is totally fun. I have given 24/7 to learn many things, from the part which I believe I can do to the part which it is hard to do but I can do it. Living as Road Manager doesn’t mean that I have no life, that I can’t balancing my own life with my work. In this 23, living as Road Manager means my life is about my job. Is about my learning process. Nothing worth having comes easy, remember?
Turning 23 is the sign that I should open myself more so I can see myself from various perspectives, because humans are come from many kind. How could I become good librarian if I don’t let myself open with them? How could I become good librarian if I never have good interaction with many kinds of people?
Anyway, thank you for everyone for the greetings! I love you more and more!— June 19, 2016